summary

I'll be taking my last exam on Friday and then I will have completed my undergraduate degree.  This is quite a completion seeing that I took a substantial gap between my junior and senior year, enough time to get married a couple of times and have a couple of kids.  Well, alas I have done it and it feels good.  I've enjoyed my short return to college and came to realize that Architecture is not my passion, too logic-orientated, too rigid.  I am an artist, visual and sonic.  I've produced lots of visual work in many different mediums, abstract to hyper-realistic but over the last decade Ive been enamoured with music.  Ive written about 100 songs, recorded some of them, played them out with a band and have loved every moment of the process.  I want to make as much time as possible for  musical artistic collaboration.  This class has been a sweet way to end my last Architectural Degree Requirement especially since it was an art/music class instead of studio (yeah!).  Tony, thank you for choosing to run this class despite your difficult circumstances.  It has been an honor to witness you in this life changing event.  Where's your studio?  I wanna drop by sometime.

harmony

I've learned so many rules about what to do and what not to do but the reality is we just do what we do. 
In theory I found it difficult to understand what the rules meant, but when I put it into practice and heard the results it began to make sense.  However the ear of the rule maker was so distant from my sonic sensibilities that although I appreciated the simple, solid beauty I was more drawn to a dark, allusive beauty.  I use the rules occasionally but usually I break them.

occupy cal

 Singing with the gospel choir for occupy cal has been a highlight for me since i returned last year to finish my architecture degree.  maybe i waited so long to finish is so that i could be at this university during this period in history..as i am close to finishing i feel gratitude for what a wonderful, dynamic place this school is..i can feel the minds buzzing all around me..when i left to live abroad i was disillusioned with the USA, especially its politics and consumer culture..it took me 15 yrs in Europe before i felt it was time for me to return..after arriving back to live in california once again, i realized that what i missed most of all was its smell...the combination of white sage, artemisia, and hot rocks brought tears to my eyes as i breathed in deep...when my first husband , our 1 yr old daughter, Freya, and I went to Mexico City for a two months artist  in residence they gave us lodging close to the main plaza, el zocalo...we walked through the plaza everyday to get to the gallery...Freya would begin to bounce many blocks away and it wasn't until we got closer that i could make out the aztec drumming...during the day a small group adorned with feathers and sparkling costumes conducted ceremonies.. Freya would watch mesmerised, swaying and stepping to the beat...in the evening many locals joined them, dressed in everyday clothing..they would dance the dances of their ancestors..occupying the plaza and reclaimed their right to worship..

day of the dead

 a sacred space for the evening bringing old friends together to build this alter, inviting new friends to join in celebration and ritual in the evening, the carpets in front of the alter command respect and the crowds pause to gaze at the alter's beauty, some stay longer, take off their shoes, sit down and join in the communal music making that takes place later in the evening, we pass the mike around as people take turns singing and rapping their thoughts backed by electric tamburas, african drums, ethereal guitar and middle eastern scales on the accordion, what a blessing to create beauty and attract the sacred

occupy berkeley

i grew up feeling like the 1 % in the San Fernando Valley.  the 1 % of the LA culture that wasn't into consumerism, most of my peers wanted to hang out at shopping malls,  i avoid shopping centers and when i enter into a supermarket i put on my sunglasses to shield my eyes from the flourescent light and race around frantically to grab every thing i need quickly or i wander around aimlessly for a while and leave with nothing having forgotten what i came in for. are we really the 99 %?  marching in oakland yesterday confirmed to me that at the moment we are still the 1 % or maybe even less than 1%, as a few thousand of us wandered around the city center i kept wondering how many people live in the bay area, how many millions?  trying to do the math in my head to figure out what percent of us were in those streets yesterday.

leadbelly

these morning glories cover the railing to our porch, they are beautiful and invasive, they get their name because they open in the morning.  can we have too much beauty? when will this beauty reach a point that i will have to tear it down? should i wait until the flowering season ends when the plant is uglier? i read a book once that informed me that the seeds of this plant hold the same compound of LSD and in fact they cover the commercial seeds with poisin so that this drug cannot be extracted.  supposedly since the 60's people have been growing and saving their own seeds  that are chemical free.  should we regulate what nature provides?

mississppi john hurt

I thought of the story of the palm trees and how they were planted in African Americans' yards in Oakland during the fifties.  Although I live in Albany, I wondered if a black family lived here amongst the Chinese Culture that prevails in this region.  I was also wondering what people from China might plant in their garden to remind them of their home land.  This drawing was done in my backyard as the sun was setting and the sky was constantly changing colors.  I made the palm tree much more prominent than it really is while fantasizing that it filled my entire backyard instead of the freeway and an apartment block.

gospel choir performance today

I'll be performing with this group today, the director is a gem, this music will move your soul

Barbara Allen

 ...the weather is frightening, 

the thunder and lightning, 

seem to be having their way.... 

i hear you say that sometimes you prefer the version on the computer, 

i think its because we have the chance to rework our art one more time 

or maybe more than once, 

are you able to embrace the computer as a valid artistic medium?

banks of the ohio 2

I struggle to find inspiration on a blank page..my thoughts get in the way..my expectations block my view..i enjoyed the process of making this work..i was stuck in my institutional apartment with a blank sheet of paper when i decided to venture outside..i went to the closest river bank, a newly installed urban water shed restoration project..i jumped over the fence and sat on the rocks by the river...my color choice was limited but i liked the challenge..drawing from real life helped clear my mind and i found it was much easier to be fully present and let my work unfold as it interpreted the world around me..

banks of the ohio

...beneath the surface of the water lies the unknown..i was talking to my friends the other day and they were married on the ganges in india..they hired a little boat and boat man who took them into to the middle of the river.. they both jumped off the boat into the water...micah, the women came out immediately and in those few seconds she had experienced the sensation of many bones and lost souls..although she actually visually couldn't see anything while under the water her mind was bombarded with images..i remember after living for over a year in northern england that i longed for a swim in the sea.. we drove about an hour to the nearest beach which had small waves and a brown color..the mud banks along this coast were slowly being washed away and the ocean absorbed this mud... i entered the the brown foam and attempted to frolic in the waves but but the murky water was uninspirational and that was the last time i ventured into the water while living there...sometimes i enjoy that little panic of the unknown that lies in the water beneath my body..like in my friends lake where you have to wade through murky mud in order to enter the cool water or floating in the ocean just past the wave breaks and wondering where the sharks are...

mary don't you weep

Slavery is the USA's greatest wound.  When researching the origin of spirituals I revisited the lives of slaves and how inhumanely they were treated.  Drums were outlawed and the only songs they were permitted to sing were hymns.  They managed to concentrate on the stories that had meaning to their current situation (ie: Moses and how he helped slaves escape from Egypt with the parting of the red seas.)  Coded messages were woven into these spirituals which helped them plan escapes and poke fun of their masters. Polyrhythms, call-response singing, and melismatic vocals were retained from their African origins.  This dirty wound may never heal completely and the weeping may continue indefinitely.

american folk song

I have resisted the American folk song tradition and for years it symbolized White Conservative America to me.  I think I have experienced mainly watered-down versions of the songs, sung badly in coffee shops or street corners.  As I begin to pay closer attention to the lyrics and begin to understand their rich, diverse origins, I am starting to see the juiciness that lies within.  I'm fascinated with Lomax's distinction between the European vs African Style.  He writes, "If the Negro emphasis is on the improviser and his chorus, the white is on the solo song rememberer and his silent audience".  I am so white but I strive to to connect with the "African the dwells inside me" especially when playing music.

topa topas

down n the valley

The east-west valley of Ojai holds one safely protected from the outer metropolis of Southern California. We first lived in the Upper Valley, 1000 ft above Ojai, and the Topa Topas (highest mountains in the region) greeted us every evening with its rock stripes lit by the pink sunset rays. I grew up in the San Fernando Valley, upon it's floor was covered with track homes that looked so similar that after returning home from abroad years later I lost my way.  Even though I grew up in Woodland Hills, after living 10 yrs in Ojai, I have adopted it as my hometown.  Growing up in the suburbs of L A contributed to my lack of identity and sense of place but when I lived in small towns in Italy and England I began to experience local community.  However these places were  too foreign to call my own.  Ojai claimed myself and my family and embraced us with its beauty and nuturing.  We have now ventured from "our hometown" but whenever I hear the word "valley" Ojai appears first in my mind.

u r my sunshine

fire balls that make up the cellular structure of disease and knowledge